I began to suffer from chronic headaches and stomach pain at the age of 7.

By 19 years old, I took Prozac for depression daily.

By 29, psychiatrists replaced that with Seroquel nightly for bipolar depression and Xanax , as needed, for anxiety.

Ten years later, I was on an anti-seizure medication, as well.

After dropping to a skeletal 93 pounds at age 43, the various specialists I was referred to prescribed steroidal heart medications, breathing machines, and gastrointestinal drugs, to address the seemingly unrelated symptoms no one seemed to know the root cause of . . .until a Sleep Neurologist and Functional Medicine Doctor separately concluded that the source of my physical ailments was not medical—it was psychological.

"Stress is what did this to you . . .Something in your life is so stressful, it's caused the elevated amounts of cortisol to wreak havoc in your body. This didn't just happen; it takes years of consistently high cortisol to do this kind of damage. So, I want you to consider what's causing you so much stress and try to eliminate or minimize it; because all the cortisol being pumped into your bloodstream is making you very, very sick." - Excerpt from the chapter entitled "Break My Heart Myself" in my best-selling and multi-award-winning debut memoir GASPING FOR AIR: THE STRANGLEHOLD OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE.

What the doctors called "stress" was actually lifelong abuse.

I knew this because I began to suffer from chronic headaches and stomach aches after my mother married the man who physically and verbally abused me.

I met my equally abusive ex-husband when I was 19.

By the time of our divorce, I was diagnosed with autoimmunity and a rare lung syndrome that the Neurologist likened to having COPD and Fibromyalgia all at once.

There's no denying the coincidence of my life circumstances with my health.

The worst part of it all was that this could have been prevented.

You see, I had been silenced as a child. I was told not to speak of the abuse because it was disrespectful to my mother and stepfather; and good little Catholic girls were supposed to "honor thy mother and thy father." That was one of the ten commandments.

Still, I went to my mother with the truth, hoping she would be inclined to protect her only child, and stop the abuse altogether.

She chose to believe her abusive husband instead, who claimed that I was lying to get attention.

Narratives circulated amongst family after that about how "difficult" and "defiant" I was, because, of course, none of what I'd claimed had ever happened.

Then, after my mother became pregnant with her husband's child, my stepfather threatened that if I ever told his son about what I'd endured in that home . . .he didn't finish the sentence. Nor did he need to.

I knew the silent rule—it's not polite to talk about abuse.

So, when I endured multiple abuses during the twenty-five years with my first husband, I didn't need to be threatened into submission.

The crow bar swung at my head,

The switchblade he kept where he sat in the living room,

The locks and bolts and glares,

and the way he'd back me into a wall with his puffed out chest and spit in my face as he screamed,

were all warning enough of what would happen if I dared speak the truth.

So, I didn't.

I pretended, just like he did, that we were a normal couple living a normal life.

And why wouldn't I?

That's what my mother had done.

Because that's what kept the peace.

It wasn't until I was diagnosed with irreversible illness, as a direct result of high cortisol (the stress hormone) that I realized how all of those physical symptoms I'd experienced had been internal warnings of emotional distress.

No one had ever taught me about the mind-body connection.

Doctors treated my symptoms as isolated medical issues.

Western medicine doesn't teach them to ask about psychological distress.

In all fairness, I would not have dared to tell the truth anyway.

Knowing now how emotional distress does manifest into physical illness, here is what I would have done differently:

💗Express distress.

Journal. Vent to a friend. Talk to a therapist or trusted professional. Tell someone what's causing you so much upset!

💗Release negative energy with exercise and movement.

Negative energy builds up inside of you like lava in a volcano. Without a release, it erupts. So, move your body. Dance to your favorite song. Go for a walk. Stretch. Do yoga. Throw some air punches if you have anger to get out. Just get that negative energy out of you!

💗Maintain boundaries.

Boundaries are the key to preventing stress and protecting inner peace. This looks like saying no without explanation, honoring your own wants and needs before prioritizing others, and setting limits to what you are able to handle emotionally and physically to prevent burnout.

Since enacting these tips myself, my physical symptoms have mostly dissipated. I still get headaches and stomach aches under extreme pressure or stress, but the days of numbing limbs, blacking out, and cardiovascular and muscular dysfunction seem to be over.

As such, I have created a self-guided healing program for those who are recovering from abusive relationships where they were silenced.

💻Take my Power Shift Diagnostic QUIZ to find out how to take your power back!

📚For more on my personal story, get the first 2 chapters of my best-selling and multi-award-winning debut memoir GASPING FOR AIR: THE STRANGLEHOLD OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, on my website. Or get the full copy today on Amazon, Audible, and Kindle.