The Voice for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse & Childhood Trauma
Begin your journey from trauma to transformation with Dana S. Diaz — author, speaker, and survivor advocate.
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The demand to lead, create, and outperform has never been higher, but the real challenge?
It's not skill. It's not strategy. It's mindset
Welcome! While this website URL features my name, this is really a place for you. It’s a safe place where victims of narcissistic abuse can find information to help cope with their existing or former circumstances.
As someone who has suffered decades of narcissistic abuse, I know that we often feel like our circumstances are unique; that no one else is going through what we are going through, and no one would believe us if we told them the truth. I also know that it’s not always safe or financially feasible to leave a narcissistic spouse or partner, so there is no judgment here. Just support, community and information. I hope my story will help others feel less alone, more understood, and ultimately hopeful that there is a way out.
Follow Dana’s personal journey through her memoir trilogy
Gasping for Air: The Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse
Dana’s best-selling debut memoir that tells the true story of her life with a narcissistic partner and the abuse she endured. Spanning from early red flags to the courage it took to finally escape, Gasping for Air pulls back the curtain on narcissistic abuse and lets survivors know they are understood. (“It’s not just vanity – narcissistic abuse is real, insidious, and it can happen to anyone,” Dana emphasizes in her story.)
Choking on Shame: The Scapegoat Child in a Narcissistic Family
The #1 New Release prequel to Gasping for Air, this upcoming memoir delves into Dana’s tumultuous childhood. It exposes how growing up with abuse and trauma set the stage for accepting toxic relationships later in life. Choking on Shame is a courageous look at the childhood wounds behind the shame – and how understanding those early injuries is key to breaking free.
Rising from the Ashes: Breaking the Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse
In the highly anticipated sequel, Dana shares the next chapter of her journey: healing, empowerment, and rebuilding a life of joy and purpose after abuse. Rising from the Ashes will inspire readers to break the cycle and emerge stronger than ever.
Want a PREVIEW before you commit?
Download the first two chapters of Gasping for Air – free
Get a powerful glimpse into Dana’s story of survival, awareness, and healing.
Who I Work With
Why Dana?
Survivor & Advocate: Dana isn’t just talking about overcoming narcissistic abuse – she’s lived it. With decades of firsthand experience, she speaks with authenticity and empathy about surviving narcissists, from a painful childhood to a toxic marriage.
Bestselling Author: As the author of Gasping for Air: The Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse, Dana shines a light on the hidden realities of emotional and psychological abuse. Her memoir – inspired by her own life – became a #1 bestseller, validating countless readers and bringing awareness to covert abuse. trauma.
Inspirational Speaker: Dana has quickly become a sought-after speaker for conferences, corporations, and community groups. She has been featured on nearly 300 podcasts and media interviews worldwide, sharing her story and insights with audiences around the globe. Event organizers praise Dana’s warm, engaging style and actionable takeaways.
Empowering Educator: In addition to speaking, Dana is an abuse recovery coach and co-leads an online women’s healing workshop focused on recovering from childhood abuse. She provides practical tools and heart-centered guidance for rebuilding self-worth, setting healthy boundaries, and moving forward after trauma.
Healing from abuse is not a journey you have to take alone. Dana co-leads a transformative online workshop for women centered around recovering from narcissistic and childhood abuse.
The Real Obstacle
The issue isn’t talent, intelligence, or opportunity.
The biggest challenge faced by individuals
and teams
is internal:
self-limiting beliefs.
They crush confidence, block creativity, and keep people
playing it safe and small.
Why Dana
With certifications in Emotional and Positive Intelligence
Over two decades leading top sales teams and helping hundreds of people
Dana turns EQ into a powerful tool
for leadership, growth, and success.
The Power Shift
After hearing Tara speak, audiences don’t just leave inspired
they leave empowered.
They walk away with tools they can use right away to lead more
effectively, communicate with clarity,
and show up with confidence. Dana delivers relatable stories,
real-world strategies, and actionable
insights that stick.
A Speaker that inspires, creates and educates
Dana S. Diaz is the speaker that curates the Power Shift within through unflinching truth.
Deep down, you know there’s something bigger waiting for you.
You’ve got an amazing idea one that people need but you’re not sure how to take the first step.
With the right strategy and a coach who’s been there, you know you could build something powerful. You don’t want to waste time (or money) chasing methods that don’t work you want a proven path.
You’re ready to learn what it really takes to start and grow a successful business that lasts.
Looking for a Dynamic Expert Podcast Guest?
Dana S. Diaz is not only a powerful speaker—she’s also an exceptional podcast guest. With nearly 300 interviews to date, Dana brings clarity, compassion, and credibility to every conversation.
Whether you're producing a podcast on mental health, women's empowerment, trauma recovery, or relationships, Dana offers a voice that’s both authoritative and relatable.
Topics Dana can speak to:
How to recognize red flags and protect yourself from narcissists
Empowerment after abuse: mindset, healing, and growth
Healing from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships
Covert emotional abuse and trauma bonds
Childhood trauma and family systems
Rebuilding self-worth and identity
How I Help
Coaching
Psychoeducation-based strategy sessions
Group Program
A personalized & powerful 10-week experience
Expert Contributor
Insights & tips from a therapist’s perspective
Keynote Speaker
Dynamic & Compassionate, encouraging & empowering
From Silence to Self-Respect
Content Note: This post discusses childhood abuse and suicidal thoughts. If you are struggling, please know you are not alone—resources are listed at the end.
September is Suicide Awareness and Prevention Month, and it’s also Self-Improvement Month. This September also marks the first anniversary of my second book, CHOKING ON SHAME: The Scapegoat Child in a Narcissistic Family—a story I never thought I’d survive to tell, one that chronicles the abuse and silence that shaped the course of the first four decades of my life.
The intersection of these seemingly unrelated themes isn’t lost on me. They are threads of the same tapestry—darkness and light, despair and determination, survival and self-respect.
When Existence Itself Felt Too Heavy
In the chapter of CHOKING ON SHAME entitled “Close My Eyes Forever,” I wrote:
“Maybe my angel was better off in Heaven. Maybe we both were. Because I didn’t want to be here without her. The way things were going, I didn’t want to be here at all.”
From a young age, living in despair—just trying to survive—made me question whether I even wanted to exist. Those questions haunted me for years.
It took most of my life to realize I had the power to create a life worth living. But even then, I didn’t yet know how.
The Lies That Shaped My Identity
In another chapter, “Say It Isn’t So,” I described my stepfather’s relentless verbal abuse:
“[He] continued to berate me with his negative assertions every morning, adding that my real dad didn’t want me any more than Mom did. He’d say no one would ever love me, and that I was stupid, incompetent, incapable, and every other diminishing insult between.”
Words can wound as deeply as fists. Over time, I internalized those messages. I carried the belief that I wasn’t meant to exist, that I didn’t belong. Even my mother’s distance reinforced the lie that my presence was somehow a mistake.
As a child, I learned to hide the bruises on my body. But the ones on my heart remained long after the physical wounds healed. And since any expression of my feelings was unwelcome, I silenced myself.
But silence is heavy. Silence convinces you that your pain doesn’t deserve a witness. It tells you to smile when you want to scream, to say “I’m fine” when you’re anything but.
That’s why suicide awareness matters—because the people who appear “fine” are often carrying unbearable weight.
Why Self-Improvement Is a Lifeline
This is also why self-improvement is not just helpful—it’s essential.
But let’s redefine what “self-improvement” means. It’s not about the perfect diet, a flawless workout, or starting therapy. For me, it became about the daily, often shaky choice to show up for myself.
It meant choosing myself when it was uncomfortable, when it came with consequences, when the world told me I didn’t matter.
Self-respect, I’ve learned, is a declaration that you do want to live—and that you want better for yourself. It’s the determination to get your head above water, to stop merely surviving and begin truly living. It’s the beginning of creating a life you love, one you want to keep living.
Three Simple Practices That Changed My Life
Let me share three small but powerful practices that helped me move from surviving to thriving:
A Daily Check-In
Each morning, I ask: What do I need today to feel safe and whole?
Sometimes the answer is big—like setting a boundary. Sometimes it’s as small as resting without guilt or drinking more water. But every day, I ask.One Truth Out Loud
Abuse thrives on silence. Healing thrives on truth. Once a day, I speak one truth, even if only in the mirror. “I am not what they said I was.” “I am worthy.” Over time, speaking truth chipped away at lies and gave me back my voice.One Ask for Help
Reaching out is not weakness—it’s courage. Whether it’s asking a friend for advice, telling someone I’m having a tough day, or seeking professional support, I practice asking. Asking for help is like a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger it gets.
Why This Anniversary Matters
The anniversary of CHOKING ON SHAME is not just a date on a calendar—it is a reminder of what I survived and a celebration of how I now live.
I am proof that pain can be rewritten into purpose.
That silence can be transformed into voice.
That despair can be met with determination.
So, as September shines a light on both suicide awareness and self-improvement, I invite you to see the connection: awareness shows us the shadows, and improvement teaches us how to step back into the light.
A Note for You
If you are struggling, please don’t carry the silence alone. Reaching out is not weakness—it is strength. You deserve to be here. You deserve to heal. And you deserve to rewrite your story, too.
Resources
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.): Call or text 988 for immediate support.
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained counselor.
❤️For the full story, CHOKING ON SHAME can be purchased in print or e-book at https://a.co/d/gN2y8rI .
❤️More on this and related topics can be found on my Substack . Make sure to subscribe while there!
What others are saying
TESTIMONIALS
A story of strength and overcoming fear and finding self worth! This book was very well written and demonstrated a story I have seen several friends and family go through. The isolation from family and friends, the verbal and physical abuse or even just belittling and loss of self worth. Seeing how the author over comes and find her strength. How after time, she had a great friend who was there waiting. Finding real love with a supportive and caring man and being willing to open up and take a chance to love. I hope many women read this and see it can be anyone and help loose the stereotype and blame, to find ways to prevent this from happening to friends and family or even themselves! A recommended read for all!
AMAZING!!! A MUST READ!!! I couldn’t put the book down! If I didn’t have to work or do life, I would’ve read this cover to cover without stopping. It’s such a well-written, beautifully horrifying story. Dana is honest, raw, and shares intimate details of her relationship that anyone can relate to who has been in a narcissistic relationship. She reminds us of the subtle signs of this behavior that are so easy to overlook and justify when you’re first in it - and then making it hard to leave years down the road -especially when there is a kid involved. I love that the chapters are song titles. There is so much creativity, brutal honesty, and even some humor in this book that make it an easy read. I recommend this book for everyone! Even if you haven’t been with a narcissist, it’s good to know the subtle signs of this behavior and often we encounter people like this in our lives at work and in other situations. I’m going to purchase more books and give them to the people I love that I know would benefit from reading them. Thank you, Dana for sharing your story with us!!
Riveting Truth Here! Dana Diaz is profoundly brave and on a mission in this lifetime. Her book, Gasping for Air took me on a ride that I could relate to through her honest portrayal of what it is like to walk through fire and come out in one piece. Diaz's tempo and pivotal truth-telling uncover realities in living we often hide behind, deny or become desensitized enough to think they are normal. She has stepped up repeatedly to take a ride through hellish hallways all to share with her readers the truth behind abuse and narcissism. Brava, Dana Diaz for dropping the curtain to unveil the cold and brutal truth of a system that is eating humanity from the inside out. And I can't wait for the prequel. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Definitely a MUST read!!! This book grasped my attention from the beginning and I couldn't put it down! Very well written, as it walks you through the experience of an abusive relationship and its toll on everyone involved. This book gave me an enlightened understanding of what victims go through when under the control of a narcissistic personality. Not only was this a great portrayal of how manipulation and control can affect a family, it also gives a heightened awareness as to how it weighs on an individual to the point of trauma induced health issues. Hopefully, this story will be helpful to others in similar situations. Great job Dana!
Very good read. Dana is a great author and knows how to grab the reader. Finished this book in only a few days and can’t wait for the next one!
A great read! I loved this book! Such an important and painful topic, written with such honesty and compassion. I couldn’t stop reading it and rooting for Dana! I have an adult daughter and will be giving her this book. I hope Dana’s well-written reflections of her experiences will help shed light on the warning signs of a relationship with a narcissist. The stories of helplessness, love, optimism and persistence should resonate with every woman of every age!
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