The Voice for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse & Childhood Trauma

Begin your journey from trauma to transformation with Dana S. Diaz — author, speaker, and survivor advocate.

Book Dana to Speak at Your Event

The demand to lead, create, and outperform has never been higher, but the real challenge?

It's not skill. It's not strategy. It's mindset

Welcome! While this website URL features my name, this is really a place for you. It’s a safe place where victims of narcissistic abuse can find information to help cope with their existing or former circumstances.

As someone who has suffered decades of narcissistic abuse, I know that we often feel like our circumstances are unique; that no one else is going through what we are going through, and no one would believe us if we told them the truth. I also know that it’s not always safe or financially feasible to leave a narcissistic spouse or partner, so there is no judgment here. Just support, community and information. I hope my story will help others feel less alone, more understood, and ultimately hopeful that there is a way out.

Follow Dana’s personal journey through her memoir trilogy

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Gasping for Air: The Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse

Dana’s best-selling debut memoir that tells the true story of her life with a narcissistic partner and the abuse she endured. Spanning from early red flags to the courage it took to finally escape, Gasping for Air pulls back the curtain on narcissistic abuse and lets survivors know they are understood. (“It’s not just vanity – narcissistic abuse is real, insidious, and it can happen to anyone,” Dana emphasizes in her story.)

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Choking on Shame: The Scapegoat Child in a Narcissistic Family

The #1 New Release prequel to Gasping for Air, this upcoming memoir delves into Dana’s tumultuous childhood. It exposes how growing up with abuse and trauma set the stage for accepting toxic relationships later in life. Choking on Shame is a courageous look at the childhood wounds behind the shame – and how understanding those early injuries is key to breaking free.

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Rising from the Ashes: Breaking the Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse

In the highly anticipated sequel, Dana shares the next chapter of her journey: healing, empowerment, and rebuilding a life of joy and purpose after abuse. Rising from the Ashes will inspire readers to break the cycle and emerge stronger than ever.

Want a PREVIEW before you commit?

Download the first two chapters of Gasping for Air – free

Get a powerful glimpse into Dana’s story of survival, awareness, and healing.

Who I Work With

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Why Dana?

  • Survivor & Advocate: Dana isn’t just talking about overcoming narcissistic abuse – she’s lived it. With decades of firsthand experience, she speaks with authenticity and empathy about surviving narcissists, from a painful childhood to a toxic marriage.

  • Bestselling Author: As the author of Gasping for Air: The Stranglehold of Narcissistic Abuse, Dana shines a light on the hidden realities of emotional and psychological abuse. Her memoir – inspired by her own life – became a #1 bestseller, validating countless readers and bringing awareness to covert abuse. trauma.

  • Inspirational Speaker: Dana has quickly become a sought-after speaker for conferences, corporations, and community groups. She has been featured on nearly 300 podcasts and media interviews worldwide, sharing her story and insights with audiences around the globe. Event organizers praise Dana’s warm, engaging style and actionable takeaways.

  • Empowering Educator: In addition to speaking, Dana is an abuse recovery coach and co-leads an online women’s healing workshop focused on recovering from childhood abuse. She provides practical tools and heart-centered guidance for rebuilding self-worth, setting healthy boundaries, and moving forward after trauma.

Healing from abuse is not a journey you have to take alone. Dana co-leads a transformative online workshop for women centered around recovering from narcissistic and childhood abuse.

The Real Obstacle

The issue isn’t talent, intelligence, or opportunity.

The biggest challenge faced by individuals

and teams

is internal:

self-limiting beliefs.

They crush confidence, block creativity, and keep people

playing it safe and small.

Why Dana

With certifications in Emotional and Positive Intelligence

Over two decades leading top sales teams and helping hundreds of people

Dana turns EQ into a powerful tool
for leadership, growth, and success.

The Power Shift

After hearing Tara speak, audiences don’t just leave inspired

they leave empowered.


They walk away with tools they can use right away to lead more

effectively, communicate with clarity,


and show up with confidence. Dana delivers relatable stories,

real-world strategies, and actionable

insights that stick.

A Speaker that inspires, creates and educates

Dana S. Diaz is the speaker that curates the Power Shift within through unflinching truth.

Deep down, you know there’s something bigger waiting for you.

You’ve got an amazing idea one that people need but you’re not sure how to take the first step.

With the right strategy and a coach who’s been there, you know you could build something powerful. You don’t want to waste time (or money) chasing methods that don’t work you want a proven path.

You’re ready to learn what it really takes to start and grow a successful business that lasts.

Looking for a Dynamic Expert Podcast Guest?

Dana S. Diaz is not only a powerful speaker—she’s also an exceptional podcast guest. With nearly 300 interviews to date, Dana brings clarity, compassion, and credibility to every conversation.

Whether you're producing a podcast on mental health, women's empowerment, trauma recovery, or relationships, Dana offers a voice that’s both authoritative and relatable.

Topics Dana can speak to:

  • How to recognize red flags and protect yourself from narcissists

  • Empowerment after abuse: mindset, healing, and growth

  • Healing from narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships

  • Covert emotional abuse and trauma bonds

  • Childhood trauma and family systems

  • Rebuilding self-worth and identity

How I Help

Coaching

Psychoeducation-based strategy sessions

Group Program

A personalized & powerful 10-week experience

Expert Contributor

Insights & tips from a therapist’s perspective

Keynote Speaker

Dynamic & Compassionate, encouraging & empowering

The Shocking Truth About Abuse and Domestic Violence

The Shocking Truth about Abuse and Domestic Violence

October 13, 20255 min read

Did you know that 1 in 3 women globally endure intimate partner abuse?

Yes, men are abused, too. However, 85% of domestic violence victims are female, according to BreaktheCycle.org.

Worse yet is that 75% of domestic violence fatalities are female. That’s right. 1 woman dies every 10 minutes at the hands of a current or former intimate partner.

That means children are growing up without their mothers. Mothers are grieving daughters. Fathers, husbands, partners, and siblings are losing someone they love, too, because someone’s ego couldn’t withstand the thought of the victim living their life on their terms.

Domestic Violence is the final and most extreme tactic abusers use to maintain control over their victims. Yet, it isn’t always reported; and when it is, victims rarely get the justice they deserve.

You see, most abusers rely on their carefully crafted public reputations to ensure that they will not face consequences for whatever extremes they enact to keep their victims within the bounds they have created for them.

Not only do they blind others with their well-liked and well-respected public personas, the duality of their public versus very different private personas confuses the victims. This is why we witness the shock of family and friends who insist he was a “good guy,” forgetting that “Chucky” was, too. Until he wasn’t.

So, how do we decipher duplicitous behavior for our own and our loved ones’ good? By understanding the insidious tactics abusers enact to control and manipulate others to their advantage.

ABUSERS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT . . .

1)    💔Victims often don’t realize they are being abused.

You read that right. Domestic violence often starts with lower-level abuses. According to a series of reports from the 2016/2017 data years of the National Intimate Partner Violence Survey (NISVS), more than 40 million women reported being slapped, pushed, and shoved; and almost half of ALL women reported psychological aggression. Unfortunately, because our judicial system doesn’t criminalize abusers unless you’re shot or shanked and can prove the intention to kill, we, as a society, don’t recognize these other transgressions as abusive. So, women will often rationalize the instances of abuse as being circumstantial, since the abusive partner can also be loving and funny and all the things they were to lure the victim into the relationship in the first place.

 

2)      💔Victims often deny or excuse the abuse.

Victims don’t want to call any more attention to the embarrassing and shameful acts that they fall victim to for whatever reason. Nor do they want to invite any questions or concern, as exposing the abuser would likely have adverse consequences. So, they excuse, enable, and tolerate, choosing to focus on the intermittent reassurances of love and loving behaviors the abuser enacts to confuse the victims into believing the love is real.

 

3)    💔Victims don’t think that they deserve better.

Abuse and domestic violence victims often endure constant demeaning and diminishment, which works to strip them of their sense of themselves and their self-worth. They come to believe that they are deficient in some way, often claiming to be “broken” or “damaged,” which they justify by the way they seem to be caught in an endless cycle of suffering. What they don’t realize is that the abuser intends for them to lose themselves in the relationship, so that the abuser maintains full control and influence over who they are and what they believe.

 

4)    💔Victims often believe they are to blame for their abusers’ behavior.

Abusers always scapegoat the victim for causing abusive and violent behavior. They blame the victim for disobeying some “rule” they should have known not to, or they claim that they wouldn’t have committed the abuse if the victim hadn’t said this or done that. Over time, victims learn that the abuse is a consequence; and that the consequence could have been prevented if they would have just followed whatever “rule.”

 

5)     💔They are actively discrediting their victim behind their back.

Abusers can never risk the revelation that they are not who they appear to be in public. So, they will consciously create a narrative to discredit the victim to their own, as well as the victims' friends and family. They'll insinuate that the victim is mentally unstable. They'll claim concern about the victim's behavior or say that the victim lies. They'll even go so far as to claim they they are being abused by the victim, to create confusion and doubt if and when the victim reveals the truth to someone they think they can trust. In some cases, abusers will go to the extreme of convincing victims to medicate for psychological issues or even institutionalize them for mental instability, offering irrefutable evidence to the world that the victim is not credible, thereby protecting the truth about who they really are.

TAKEAWAYS:

➡️ALWAYS believe a victim when they trust you with their truth. It takes a lot for them to come to you in the first place. If negated, they are less likely to summon the courage a second time; and that life might be lost as a result.

➡️NEVER presume that the abuser is the “good guy” you know him to be. Every dynamic is different. So, the person you know him to be may greatly contrast the person others know him to be.

**Please know that abuse and domestic violence occur regardless of gender. However, the incidence of abuse and domestic violence against women is significantly higher. This by no means minimizes or dismisses the abuse that too many men endure. We are all human and mistreatment is wrong regardless.

💜If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, please text HOME to 741741 for 24/7 Crisis Support in the U.S.

For more about my personal experiences with abuse and domestic violence, my memoir trilogy can be found in print, e-book, and audiobook, anywhere books are sold online, or click the links below to access them through Amazon:

GASPING FOR AIR: THE STRANGLEHOLD OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE https://a.co/d/ebNRvKa

CHOKING ON SHAME: THE SCAPEGOAT CHILD IN A NARCISSISTIC FAMILY https://a.co/d/biFTgcY

RISING FROM THE ASHES: BREAKING THE CYCLE OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE https://a.co/d/0TX3fbR

domestic violencedomestic violence awarenessabuseabuse awarenesstruth about abuseabuse statisticsdomestic violence statistics
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