ATTRACT the Love You Want by BEING the Love You Seek

We all want that perfect counterpart. A best friend. A lover. A confidante. Someone to share our joys and passions with and to support us as we pursue our dreams. The person that brings out the inner child because it’s safe to be vulnerable. The person who can finish our sentences because they just “get” us. The person we don’t need to explain ourselves to for the same reason. They just know what we feel and why we’re feeling it.

I’m sure we can all add more to that list.

What would still be missing, however, is the piece that would actually allow us to attract that perfect counterpart—BEING the person we want to attract.

This is the same premise as the age-old adage of being the change we seek. For, you can’t expect from others what you won’t give yourself or from your heart.

So, let’s start asking ourselves the real questions:

Do you treat yourself with love and grace?

Be radically honest with yourself about this. When you’re down and out, and shame or fear has you teetering on the edge of sanity, what do you say to yourself? What does that inner voice tell you? Is it understanding and reassuring, or is it critical and diminishing? Does your self-talk sound like someone you would allow to talk to your children or others whom you love?

Do you see others through a loving lens?

Not just when it’s easy. Not just with like-minded people, either. But when you disagree with someone. When their politics or religion or overall mindset offends. Can you still listen to understand and find a way to respect their freedom to have opposing views, or are you quick to judge, criticize, or condemn?

And, here’s the big one:

Do you even love yourself?

The harsh truth lies in your answers. Instead of judging or shaming yourself, though, use this opportunity to reflect on what lies deep beneath the surface you let people see. Then consider how you can use this self-awareness to your advantage—to reframe negative self-talk, to speak to yourself in a more loving and nurturing way, to give yourself the grace of being imperfect, and to understand that we all grow and evolve if we choose to use these opportunities as lessons to approach the future with higher wisdom.

Self-awareness is the first step towards healing that relationship with yourself. Conscious intention is the second step, which is enacting that loving relationship, first with yourself, and then with others.

When we can find that love for ourselves within ourselves, then we can be that same love for others. It will be expressed and received more positively. It allows us to be that safe space, where humanity is prioritized over ego. It spreads through all we do, and allows us to be that same cheerleader and uplifter to others that we sometimes need for ourselves. We can understand and empathize better. We can respect others’ authenticity and freedom to just be, even when it doesn’t align with who we are and whatever values we hold dear.

For, love begets love.

And you are love.

You just have to choose to be that love, and express that love outwardly.

Then, the love you seek will come to you tenfold.💗

📚My journey back to myself is now the best-selling and award-winning debut memoir GASPING FOR AIR: THE STRANGLEHOLD OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, which is available on Amazon, Audible, and Kindle.

🖥️Download the first two chapters of GASPING FOR AIR for FREE at https://danasdiaz.com.