Less Yes, Less Stress
As the holidays approach, women, particularly, become the ultimate people-pleasers. We say “yes” to everything and everyone to ensure pleasant celebrations for all involved.
We turn into the event planners for our families, coordinating with relatives to schedule holiday gatherings around celebrations with in-laws and travel plans of those coming home or leaving to go elsewhere.
We coordinate menus that accommodate everyone’s food sensitivities and preferences, and assign certain people to bring certain dishes, often preparing more than we agreed to anyway, just in case.
Then we clean, cook, bake, do the laundry, prepare beds and bathrooms for guests, in between whatever usual work and tasks we are responsible for on any other given day.
I’m stressed out just thinking about all of that! So, imagine the exhaustion, the burnout, the sleepless nights of the women actually doing all that!
➡️Statistics show that 44% of women experience heightened stress around the holidays; and almost 34% of women also experience worsened health this time of year, as a result.
That doesn’t exactly sound like a “happy” holiday, at least not for the women doing all the work for everyone else to have one.
What, then, can women do to decrease their stress levels during the holiday season?
Say “no.” It’s really that simple.
You do not have to host. You do not have to attend every single gathering you are invited to. You do not have to cook or bake for every gathering you attend. You do not have to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone else!
You’re probably thinking I’m nuts to even suggest that you say “no.” Who will do everything if you don’t? How will everything get done?
I don’t know, but it will.
What I do know is that you are allowed to say “yes” to yourself once in a while. You are allowed to sit back and relax on the holidays and let others make the meals and clean and do the dishes.
Better yet, you get to say “yes” to just staying home in your pajamas and ordering a pizza, if that’s what you prefer.
You see, the holidays are meant to be enjoyed. They’re meant to be shared with loved ones. They’re meant to give pause to the busy-ness of life and appreciate what really matters.
You don’t have to impress your mother-in-law by scrubbing your vents clean with a toothbrush. You don’t have to turn into Martha Stewart by crafting homemade centerpieces. You don’t have to transport a 3-layer carrot cake topped with a detailed fondant cornucopia to your brother’s house to show off your culinary skills to that relative who’s always cutting you down.
Cupcakes from Walmart with black pilgrim hats atop will do just fine, as will a pumpkin pie from the local bakery, who will appreciate the business.
Even the holiday meal can be catered through most major grocery chains and also by certain local restaurants, which would be a treat for everyone.
Saving time on unnecessary tasks leaves more time to connect with relatives, anyway. It gives you more time to actually enjoy the holiday, too.
So, do yourself a favor by saying “no” to something or everything this holiday. It will be just as enjoyable without all the fuss. And who knows? Pizza and Walmart cupcakes might become a less stressful tradition everyone might appreciate after all!
Whatever you decide, just know that you’re allowed to set boundaries around your time, mental and physical health, personal space and preferences. It’s the only way to protect your peace—not just during the holidays, but ALL days.
📖And while you're relaxing and have time on your hands this holiday season, don't forget to grab a copy of my best-selling memoir, GASPING FOR AIR: THE STRANGLEHOLD OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE! Available in print, e-book, and Audible. 💖
