The Truth about Why People Choose Suicide

"Invisible and insignificant to everyone, I might as well have been dead. Nobody would notice if I was gone anyway." -Excerpt from the chapter entitled "Jar of Hearts" in my first book, GASPING FOR AIR.

It's heartbreaking to read about the depths of despair the unhealed version of myself had been drowning in. Understanding where I was compared to where I am now, however, I realize that self-improvement is essential in preventing suicide.

We first need to face an uncomfortable truth: why people choose to end their lives in the first place.

Speaking for myself, I didn't consider suicide because I wanted to die. As I wrote in my third memoir, RISING FROM THE ASHES, "I just don't want to hurt anymore!"

After broaching this subject with others who struggle to live with the pain they carry, the common reasons for even considering ending one's life are:

• Unbearable Emotional Pain: Trauma, loss, rejection, or abandonment that is too heavy to bear.

• Hopelessness: Believing that joy or healing will never come, continuing to suffer despite reaching out for support, and feeling that there is no other way to escape the pain.

• Isolation: Feeling unseen, unheard, and unimportant.

• Shame & Stigma: Fearing judgment, dismissal or mock if they express their true feelings.

• Loss of Identity or Purpose: Having no perceivable purpose, direction, or focus for the future.

All in all, suicide is not about wanting life to end—it’s about wanting the pain to end.

Where Self-Improvement Fits In

Self-improvement is the daily practice of strengthening ourselves so that when life’s pain comes—as it inevitably will—we have the tools to endure it without spiraling into that powerless and hopeless mindset.

💕Self-Awareness
By learning to recognize our emotions and identify our patterns, we can detect the warning signs of despair and use those opportunities to enact healthy coping skills.

💕Boundaries
Protecting our energy from toxic people, environments, or expectations helps us preserve our self-worth.

💕Connection
Deeper connections with friends, family, co-workers, and anyone we interact with regularly impacts our sense of belonging and acceptance, thereby thwarting tendencies to isolate.

💕Purpose
When we engage in pursuits that have meaning—whether through service, creativity, or personal enjoyment—we are fulfilled and focused on future goals.

💕Resilience Practices
Meditation, journaling, therapy, exercise, and even rest equip us to manage pain instead of allowing it to consume us.

Self-improvement doesn’t just save your life. It may save someone else’s too. When others see you setting boundaries, speaking honestly about struggles, and weathering life's storms, they see that survival is possible.

✨Your growth becomes their hope.✨

💜 If you or someone you know is struggling, please dial 988 in the U.S. for free, confidential support.

➡️For more on this sensitive topic, please refer to the companion article on my Substack.